Unstuck

I stay amazed at how God uses random things to help me connect to my heart issues when I’m willing to be uncomfortable and sit with the Lord in them!  Recently He’s been using my experience of getting and riding a bike to help me work through my feelings of being “stuck”.  I’ve wanted a bike for a long time but never felt like I was going to be around long enough to justify the investment.  With the coronavirus restrictions and it being a hot summer, they’re incredibly hard to find right now.  Nonetheless, someone from church helped me track down and get a great deal on a fixer upper a few weeks ago and it’s brought great joy and been an evident part of God’s kind, faithful, caring for my heart and patiently teaching me.

What the Lord has taught me through it might be another post but all the heart wrestlings and sitting in those stuck feelings, looking back on all of that I would describe it (the process, not even the learning experience and revelations) this way.....I feel like I’ve been riding a road bike on a long trip to my destination.  I’ve been down some windy, twisty roads, up inclines and down steep hills and valleys and now I’ve found it’s put me on an unforeseen and very long dirt path.   I was trying to do the road bike thing on the dirt path and it felt “off”. Then the Lord gave me some hybrid tires!  This part of the journey is a new experience, it still feels weird, it still takes work. I’m aware that the terrain is different, I am no longer expecting the scenery or the ride to be the same.   I’m still on the path.  It was challenging before until I got used to it and then it changed.  Thats what happens on the journey, otherwise you’re just staying in the same place.  Truly being stuck would be pedaling as fast as I can but with my bike on a stand and nothing changing, not the terrain, not the view, not my effort, not the distance behind me.   

I’m accepting that this is what it is.  This is how life is in a broken world.  Yet, it’s still controlled by my Father, the One who created the race, compelled me to start it, saw the finish line when I hadn’t even discovered the starting point yet,  and is with me in every turn, pedal, pant, and even cramp of this journey.  I’m so very thankful that the Lord faithfully, patiently, lovingly sees, knows, equips and is with me.  Now I’m learning to navigate it differently in both my mindset and expectations.   I’m still on my way and no longer feeling “stuck” because through, in, and with Jesus while I’m on my way home this is the opposite of that.