DON'T

I take it most people don't need to be cautioned about this. But if it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone. It is with a sigh, shake of the head, shudder and assaulted tastebuds that I relay the following things that I now know to be true.

DON'T mistake a radish for a turnip
DON'T bake said mistaken-for-a-turnip radish in hopes of having a similar-to-a-baked-potato-but-less-carbohydrates-and-less-calories treat
DON'T put ranch on a mistaken-for-a-turnip radish in hopes of having a similar-to-a-baked-potato-but-less-carbohydrates-and-less-calories treat with ranch and green onions

ABOVE ALL ELSE, if you didn't heed my aforementioned warnings..........
DON'T eat the mistaken-for-a-turnip radish in hopes of having a similar-to-a-baked-potato-but-less-carbohydrates-and-less-calories treat with ranch and green onions! DON'T put it in your mouth! DON'T chew and for goodness sakes DON'T make the mistake of swallowing!

Take it from me, you will be unpleasantly surprised and highly disappointed to find that it tastes like...........well, I imagine what the word "NASTY" would taste like if you were unfortunate enough to ever have the opportunity to eat it! And perhaps, like me, upon finding that it tastes oh-so-very-NASTY you will wish for a few moments that you had a disposable tongue that you could immediately take out and dispose of before replacing it with an untainted one. Oh, and you may even shed a few tears and do the wah-toozie.

So DON'T. Just DON'T!

You've been warned.